On the day we mourn the death of the Red Sox as we knew them for the last 20 years, I hope my terrible football picks put a smile on your face.
LV @ LAR +6.5: Rams are lost and have all but packed it in and turned their concentration to the 2023 season, which they have the luxury of doing as defending Super Bowl champs with a HC and QB who are locked in for the foreseeable future. The Raiders have strung 2 wins together and have officially made it to the “in the hunt” section of the playoff graphics. Belichick and Co. roll into Vegas next week for what may be a “win and your in (as of now)” game, assuming both teams take care of business this week. Raiders roll as much as a team can roll on Thursday Night Football and cover the 6.5. Pick: Raiders
BAL @ PIT -2.5: No Lamar is a massive blow for the Ravens. He is their entire offense and there’s no backup in the world who can even provide a facsimile of what he brings to the table. Steelers are also feeling good about themselves over the past month or so. I’ll take the Steelers, at home, to cover in a game that doesn’t make its way out of the teens. Pick: Steelers
MIN @ DET -2: I had to do a quadruple take when I saw this spread. The 5-7 Lions are 2-point favorites over the 10-2 Vikings?! I don’t believe in the Vikings, big picture, but I do think they will beat the clown show Lions. Pick: Vikings
JAX @ TEN -3.5: The Jags have had a few great games this year, but can’t string them together. I’ll put my faith in Tannehill, Vrabel, and Henry to win this one easily. If the Jags do win, I think Vrabel’s seat will start to get uncomfortably warm after the dismissal of their GM. It’s clear their ownership is becoming restless, and sometimes a coaching change is the jolt a team needs. If the Titans win, Vrabel is safe at 8-5 and 3 game up in the division, but if they lose… They won’t. Pick: Titans
PHI @ NYG +6.5: I don’t like the Eagles to win it all (Chiefs and Dallas, baby), but they will suffocate the Giants and win by double digits. Pick: Eagles
NYJ @ BUF -10: Jets showed some gusto last week but came up short. Buffalo has been off for 10 days after barely breaking a sweat against the Patriots last Thursday. The Bills are on a mission and the Jets still have that thing. That thing where they can’t get out of their own way. I don’t like big spreads, but I’m buying what the Bills are selling. Pick: Bills
CLE @ CIN -5.5: Cincy looks like their old selves these days. Cleveland beat the Texans last week, but that was more of a situation where the Texans beat themselves than one where the Browns won it. I’m sure Watson will be a bit better this week than he was last week, but he’s still rusty (understandably) after his 2-year layoff. Cincy hangs a big number on the Browns and wins EASILY. Pick: Bengals
HOU @ DAL -18: 18 points is a LOT. If Dallas wins by 2 TD’s and a FG, they wouldn’t cover. I really like what the cowboys are doing, and the Texans may be the worst team of the last 10 years. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but give me Dallas to cover. Pick: Cowboys
KC @ DEN +9.5: KC fucks and the Broncos are fucked. Pick: Chiefs
TB @ SF -3.5: Reality check for the Bucs. I don’t think losing Jimmy G is a monumental loss for the 49ers considering he’s nothing more than a game manager. Mr. Irrelevant gets the job done. and that suffocating defense has its way with Brady. Pick: 49ers
CAR @ SEA -4: I still like the Seahawks despite recent troubles. Add in a cross-country flight for a team with absolutely no playoff hopes and no direction moving forward and I think Seattle wins this handily. Pick: Seahawks
MIA @ LAC +3.5: I’ve been screaming all year that the Justin Herbert hype train is out of control. He’s got all the tools, but there’s something missing. The Dolphins spent the week in California stewing on their loss to the 49ers, so I’m fairly confident they’ll be ready to roll in LA and take advantage of Mr. Overrated. Pick: Dolphins
NE @ ARI +1.5: I have no fucking clue. The Cardinals are a joke with a world-class dipshit playing QB. The Patriots are somehow 6-6 but seem to be coming apart at the seams. The one thing the Patriots have done consistently all year is take advantage of bad teams, so one would think they’d do the same to the Cardinals, HOWEVER, the Patriots can’t contain mobile quarterbacks, of which Kyler is. I could see any of the 4 outcomes coming to fruition here. I’ll cautiously pick the Patriots to cover, but I really have no fucking clue. Pick: Patriots
